All Aboard the Friend Ship
by Rita the Robot
Summary: After the events of All4One, Dr. Nefarious has been left with a lot of mixed feelings. Captain Qwark stops by to attempt to mend old wounds with the doctor by inviting him on a three day cruise. However, things don't go quite as planned.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Ratchet & Clank series. The series and its respective characters belong to Insomniac. There will only be maybe a few (probably two or three) characters that are OC's that belong to me that may appear in later chapters, but other than that the canon characters of the Ratchet & Clank games belong to Insomniac.**

******Warnings: Implied Qwark/Nefarious slash maybe? Depends on how you look at it, I guess.**

**Author's Notes: I'm usually pretty shy when it comes to sharing my fanfiction with people, but I figure I can't really improve unless I just throw it out there to people who aren't close friends. Plus, I'm sure someone out there will enjoy it in some way or another. If you have any, please give me feedback on the story. Thank you for reading!**

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Things had become a little quiet at Nefarious' newest space station ever since his return from his bizarre adventure with Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark. It was fairly clear that the incident disturbed him on some level, though exactly what was going through the doctor's mind was a mystery to everyone but himself. He simply kept to himself and became less talkative, which was weird for him. If anyone loved to make it all about himself, it was Dr. Nefarious. Perhaps he just needed time to get over the surreal situation.

For the time being, Dr. Nefarious kept himself locked up in his office/room playing video games by himself. What was a little worrisome was that they were mostly multiplayer games like Blargian Party where it was pretty awkward to be playing by one's self. The thing that bothered him the most was that the adventure he'd gone on left him realizing something that never really came to his attention or bothered him much before: Nefarious didn't really have any real friends.

It alarmed Nefarious and brought him back into reality when a knock came at his door. "Sir?" the muffled voice of his butler Lawrence said from the other side. "You have a visitor."

"I'm busy," the doctor lied in an irritated tone of voice as he unpaused his game and went back to playing.

"Should I tell him to leave?" Lawrence asked.

Dr. Nefarious sighed dramatically and paused his video game once again. "Who is it?"

"Captain Qwark, sir," the butler replied as if such an unexpected visitor was no big deal. "Your arch-nemesis, I do believe."

There was a long, astonished and contemplative silence on Nefarious' end. He couldn't help but wonder if Lawrence was merely pulling his leg. "Well, what does he want?" he snapped, pretending not to care.

"Why don't you ask him, sir?" Lawrence suggested. He had better things to do than be the middle man between the two enemies.

"Why don't you ask him, sir?" Nefarious parroted in a mocking manner. "First of all, is he armed?"

Lawrence glanced over at Qwark, who in return grinned nervously and held up his large empty hands as a sign of surrender. Looking back towards the door, the butler answered, "He has two of them. Arms, that is. So, should I just send him in?"

Dr. Nefarious groaned and slung his controller across the room. So much for isolating himself and playing video games all night. "Fine, whatever. If he tries anything funny, he's dead!"

"Duly noted!" Qwark called out so that Nefarious could hear before Lawrence opened the door for him. When that happened, he strolled right in with a look as if he owned the place.

"I'll leave you two to talk in private," Lawrence murmured, and then shut the doors behind Qwark. The butler didn't want to stick around in the event that things went badly, which inevitably they would. It was rarely enjoyable for him to have to rescue his employer from a difficult situation.

"Nice place you got here!" Qwark said to the doctor as he took a look around. "Not as nice as my presidential office, but it's still pretty nice!"

The doctor clenched his fists tightly, glaring sharply at the hero. "You've got a lot of nerve waltzing in here and acting as if you and I have no negative history whatsoever!"

Qwark sighed with his shoulders slumped and decided that since Nefarious had so easily seen through it, he might as well drop the act. "Look, Nefarious, I know there's always been some bad blood between us-"

"Which was your fault!" the doctor was quick to point out. Nefarious folded his arms, getting more fussy by the minute.

"Well you were a nerdy kid in school, and I was popular," Qwark explained in a lame excuse for why he'd begun to bully Nefarious in the first place. "It was nothing personal. It was all just part of the natural social food chain! Besides, Nefarious, kids will be kids! It's all in the past now."

"I was a kid, YOU WERE A GROWN MAN!" the doctor shrieked, stomping his foot. The gears in his head whirred louder as his anger increased.

Realizing that he was only making things worse, Qwark winced a little and tapped his fingertips together nervously. "Well yeah, but I was a child at heart!" he blurted out.

"No, you're a child at MIND!" Nefarious retorted. "Get to the point, Qwark! Why are you here!? Be quick about it, because I'm THIS close to annihilating you right here and now!"

Captain Qwark reached in his utility belt to retrieve a pair of tickets. Dr. Nefarious eyed them curiously as if perplexed. "Despite how life-threatening it all was, admittedly I think you and I had some good times together. I might have been wrong about you in the past, Nefarious." He himself began to stare at the tickets if only because he was never really good with coming up with the right words when it came to making peace with someone. "So... I decided that maybe we should hang out sometime. Just you and me, you know? Anyway, I bought a ticket for a cruise ship to get a little R and R, and for some reason they accidentally gave me two for the price of one. I thought it would be a good opportunity for us to get to know eachother as friends. Want my extra ticket?"

It was hard for Nefarious to hide his shock. Judging from the way that his metal jaw was just hanging open, he was clearly taken aback by this. Upon realizing how stupid he looked, he closed his mouth and regained his composure quickly. "We're not friends, Qwark," he snapped sharply.

"We could be," Qwark responded, smiling with hope as he waved the tickets in front of the doctor as if he were attempting to amuse an infant with a set of shiny keys.

"No." The doctor's short and stern response surprised Qwark. The spoiled captain, after all, was not used to rejection.

"Wha...What do you mean 'No'?" Qwark asked, dumbfounded.

"I mean no," Nefarious said in a way that made it seem like he was dumbing things down for the hero. Turning his back to Qwark, he added, "We're not friends, Qwark, and we never will be. So get lost."

The captain glanced at Nefarious, then back at the tickets, then back at Nefarious. "But...But you were supposed to say yes! We were supposed to go on a high seas adventure and develop an epic bromance that would be sung in rock ballads for years to come! Besides, what am I gonna do with this extra ticket?"

"Sell it. Give it away. Shove it up your ass. I don't care. It's not my problem!" the doctor said while waving a claw dismissively. He returned to his couch to sit back down, then tuned his television to a broadcasted station so he could have an excuse to ignore the green-clad hero and have something to drown out his whining with as well.

"Why won't you at least give me a chance?" Qwark asked as he purposely stood right in front of the small TV with his massive body.

Nefarious defiantly tried to look over the hulking figure and ignore it, but it proved difficult. "Just like you, it's simple! It's because I hate you!" he said in a sarcastically chipper way. "NOW MOVE!" he demanded as he tried to flip the channels and turn up the volume.

"So the time we spent together working as a team meant nothing at all to you? Not even a little?" the captain persistently questioned. "Surely it meant something to you! You saved my life, after all!"

"Because I would rather kill you myself! And don't call me Shirley!" Nefarious glowered even more harshly and continued to try and drown out Qwark's existence with television noise.

Qwark clasped his hands together and got on his knees, scooting closer to the doctor. "Just give me one chance to set things right. I don't like admitting I was wrong! I'm never wrong!"

Nefarious stared down the captain as if he had hoped that his bright crimson glare would burn a hole through his big stupid face. After a moment of thought, he snatched one of the tickets out of Qwark's hands. "Fine."

The hero's expression brightened considerably. "So you'll go?"

"I'll give you ONE chance! So help me, if you mess this up, I'll make your demise even MORE painful than I had originally intended!" the doctor threatened as he stood up from the couch and turned off the television set with his remote. "You have one chance, Qwark! ONE CHANCE!"

Captain Qwark got up from his knees and embraced the doctor so tightly that it caused the incredibly thin robot to yelp out of both pain and surprise. "You won't regret it!"

"I probably will!" the doctor disagreed with his voice sounding strained as he attempted to push the hero's massive arms off of him. "Unhand me, you big stupid oaf!"

"Oh... Sorry about that," Qwark apologized, immediately letting go of the more fragile framed doctor. "The ship leaves tomorrow, so pack your things! I'll be waiting at the dock! The address and the name of the ship is on the ticket, as well as the departure time. Be there, or be square." With that, the captain made finger guns at his new traveling companion before excitedly hurrying off to go pack his things.

Now left to his own devices, Nefarious stood there quietly while staring down at the ticket in his claws. "I can tell already that this was a mistake." With a drawn out sigh, he plopped back down into his couch and rubbed his forehead exasperatedly.


	2. Chapter 2

"LAWWWWREEEEENCE!" shrieked Dr. Nefarious as he tapped his foot impatiently while waiting for his struggling butler to catch up to him.

Lawrence grunted as he dragged his employer's over-packed bags up to the boarding dock of the cruise ship. "Did you really need to bring all of this? You'll only be gone for three days."

"What are you talking about, Lawrence? I only brought the essentials!" Dr. Nefarious insisted, throwing his arms into the air for emphasis.

The butler sighed and shook his head. "Are things like a laptop, a surround sound system, a HoloVid player, and an entire collection of HoloVids to go with really considered essential? Especially when plenty of entertainment will no doubt be provided on the ship?"

"YES!" the doctor snapped, and yanked away his bags. He nearly lost his balance when he did so, seeing as how the luggage was so heavy.

"Yes, well, hopefully you will be able to carry THIS baggage better than you do your emotional baggage, because I won't be hauling it all the way up into your cabin. Sorry, sir. Only passengers are allowed to board," Lawrence replied with his metallic fingers laced. He was actually rather glad to have that excuse.

"It's alright. I've got it," came a third, very familiar voice as suddenly the luggage was taken from the doctor.

Nefarious spun around on his heel to see no other than Captain Qwark standing before him and his butler. He was a little surprised to see the oaf accept the burden that would otherwise be too difficult for Nefarious to transport himself. "O-Oh! Well that's..." The doctor put on a stern expression. "Just don't drop anything, you buffoon!"

Qwark laughed as he adjusted the bags he was now carrying so that he would be able to handle it all. "Not a worry! I've got the strength of a grungoth!"

"And the brain of one, too..." Nefarious glanced at Lawrence. "Well, I suppose I'll see you in three days, Lawrence. Here are the keys to the space station." The keys were flung from the doctor's palm to the butler's.

"You know, this almost reminds me of the time I took you to off to summer camp when you were but a young lad," Lawrence reminisced. "Except you're not crying your eyes out begging to be taken back to your parents." He couldn't help but grin a little at the memory.

Qwark leaned over to Nefarious and smirked as well. "Ooh! Remember when I left you stranded out in the middle of a river in a canoe, and you had a panic attack because you didn't know how to steer one or swim? Or that night when I tied you up in a tree along with the camp's food supply, and the bears started swatting at you with their paws like you were a big-headed pinata? Those were fun times."

Nefarious' face plates heated up with embarrassment. "ENOUGH!" he roared. "Let's just board the ship and be done with this miserable trip!" He stomped his way up the boarding ramp, hunched over and fuming with rage. One could literally see the steam seeping out from under the green glass dome that was part of his head.

"He's your problem now," Lawrence murmured to Captain Qwark before gleefully shuffling off to enjoy a little vacation of his own. Three days straight without being at the beck and call of the doctor was a very rare thing for the servant, after all.

"Nefarious can't be THAT much of a handful!" he said, seemingly more to convince himself rather than Lawrence who seemed to flee so fast that one would think he was almost afraid that Nefarious would suddenly change his mind and come running back. The hero followed after the doctor up the ramp. He was eager to drop their stuff off in their cabin and get unpacked.


	3. Chapter 3

"One bed!? This cabin only has one bed!?" Nefarious looked at the cabin number on his ticket, then compared it with Qwark's. They matched up perfectly. "This must be some sort of mistake!"

Qwark rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, feeling a bit of a fool in this uncomfortable situation. "Maybe that's why they gave me two tickets for the price of one. You know it's like they say: You get what you pay for. Heheh..."

"Well I'M not sharing a bed with YOU! You'll just have to sleep on the floor!" Nefarious insisted firmly.

The hero frowned at the doctor, apparently in disagreement with that notion. "Hey! I paid for the tickets!" he reminded him.

"You begged me to come! I didn't even want to go on this stupid cruise!" the doctor sqwaked with his arms flailing.

Qwark sighed. "We'll figure this out later. Let's just unpack and enjoy ourselves while the day is still young."

"Easy for you to say! I get motion sickness, plus I'm already feeling claustrophobic!" Dr. Nefarious whined while crossing his arms and pouting. It sounded like he was now just making up excuses to complain.

"Then go outside and get some fresh air, and I'll unpack!" Qwark snapped, already finding himself frustrated with the doctor. So this is the problem that Lawrence was referring to.

"I'm not letting you touch my things with your filthy squishie hands!" retorted the doctor as he dragged his bags over to what he deemed as his side of the room and began to unload them while sulking childishly.

Qwark rolled his eyes and began to do the same with his own belongings. The two refused to say a word to one another as they got settled in, and when Qwark was done, he went for the cabin door. "I'm going out onto the deck. Are you coming?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Nefarious. He sounded as if he were trying his best to be a little more patient with the villain.

"No, I'm staying in here and updating my blog. Get out of my face," Dr. Nefarious replied as he flopped onto the bed with his laptop open and in its boot up phase.

"It's a cruise, Nefarious! Don't tell me you're just going to sit in a stuffy cabin for the next three days playing on the computer! You can do that when you get home!" Qwark was aware that the doctor was anti-social, but not to this extent. Maybe he was just being his fussy, I'm-being-stubborn-because-I'm-mad-at-you self. Heck, it could've been both. It probably WAS both.

"Yep! That's what I'm doing. Deal with it." With that, Nefarious plugged in and put a set of headphones on. Of course, he had to have the headband going around the back of his head since there was no way period that he was going to get it to expand enough to go over the top of his head.

"You're impossible!" Qwark slammed the door behind him, and Nefarious merely grinned victoriously when he was left alone.

Out on the deck, Qwark took a stroll to blow off some steam. Things were already going downhill, and they had just boarded the ship only an hour ago. As he looked around at the other passengers, he started to notice a peculiar pattern. "Huh. Weird. A lot of couples here. The last cruise I was on didn't have nearly as many," he muttered to himself. He perked up instantly when he saw a pair of giggling females standing next to eachother near the railing of the ship. At least, he was pretty sure they were both females. One was a drophyd, but she seemed girly for one. Close enough.

"Hellloooo, ladies!" he said smoothly as he approached the two women, who both turned to look at him if he had suddenly grown a second head.

"Uh. Hi?" The drophyd blinked, appearing the most disturbed of the two.

With a hint of shyness, the robot standing next to the drophyd said a soft, "Hewwo."

The two weren't the prettiest looking female specimens Qwark had ever seen, but since he had yet to see any other single-looking females, they would do for now.

The robot was kind of cute. She had a slim, somewhat modest but shapely figure, and wore a cute little pink dress. Like many female bots of her model, she had wide and bright blue eyes that made her look innocent in nature regardless of whether or not that was the case. Her dark purple metallic "hair" was shaped into a bun, and her nails and lips were painted a matching shade of purple. However, a set of what looked like buck front teeth poked out from between her lips, which was a little off-putting for Qwark. A fishnet pattern was painted onto her legs, and she wore purple flats on her feet.

The drophyd looked a lot more rough-and-tumble, but then again she was a drophyd. There wasn't much to be expected from a not-as-desired species, at least in Qwark's opinion. From what he could see through her amber-tinted tank, she had scars running across her face and what looked like a face in which the default expression was a scowl. She was the same bright orange color as the majority of her kind, but she had a sort of relaxed fin mohawk that was an orange-ish red. The tough look was a little ruined by the fact that her backdrop within the tank were various brightly colored clear glass pebbles sitting at the bottom with a little decorative castle that took up a lot of space within the tank in the back. Her armored body suit had a lot of scuffs, but otherwise it was painted a light beige and forest green color and it proudly sported the insignia of Tachyon's military.

"Whewe's youw pawtnew?" the robotic female asked, peering around curiously.

The hero blinked, not understanding a word of what she had said.

Quickly spotting and understanding the man's confusion, the drophyd decided to translate. "She's asking where your partner is. She has a hard time pronouncing certain letters," she explained with a look of amusement.

Qwark seemed relieved now that he had a better understanding of the strange dialect the robot had. "Hey, it's no problem. When I was a kid, I used to watch a cartoon with a character who talked like that. That was one of my favorite shows!" He didn't notice what he'd just said offended the lady robot, even when she frowned and started looking a little insecure. As for the question the robot had asked him, he could only assume that the two had seen him board the ship with Nefarious earlier.

"My friend is back in the cabin sulking." He laughed. "But enough about him, let's talk about me," Qwark insisted quickly as if a little nervous that the only half-cute single girl he'd spotted on this ship so far had already taken interest in the doctor rather than himself. "My name is Copernicus L. Qwark," he said and extended a hand.

The robot was the first to shake his hand, being the least skittish of the pair. She smiled in a friendly way before introducing herself. "My name is Wita."

"Wita? That's an exotic name," Qwark stated as he shook her hand with a firm grip.

"Wwwwiiiitaaaa," the robot corrected him. "With an 'aweeeee'."

It took a long time for Qwark to figure out what she had meant. "Oh! Rita! I like that name better, anyway."

"I made that mistake, too. Don't worry about it," said the drophyd when it was her turn to shake the stranger's hand with one of the metal pincers on her body suit. "I'm Ex-Lieutenant Finneas, but you can call me Finn."

"A lieutenant, eh? Impressive!" He took a second glance at her suit's insignia, and decided to go out on a limb to try and show off. "You know, I used to work for Emperor Tachyon, too!" It was a fact that normally he'd keep to himself, considering that very few were pleased to know about it, but maybe it would work out for him in this situation.

"I know. I remember you," Finn replied in a flat tone that had a trace of bitterness to it as if thinking back to Qwark's role as a temporary employee under Tachyon's rule left a bad taste in her mouth.

Okay. So that didn't go as he planned out, Qwark thought to himself. "I heard he may still be out there," he mentioned to attempt to shift the conversation into a more favorable light.

"I'm betting on it," Finn stated matter-of-factly, and then started to leer at Qwark intimidatingly. The fish was already starting to give him the creeps.

Rita looked between both the drophyd and Qwark before grabbing one of Finn's robotic arms to tug at it and get her attention. "Okay, enough with the powitical talk! This is vacation time! You know, fun stuff!" she reminded them both with a weak, nervous laugh. She smiled at Qwark with her arms still wrapped around one of Finn's. "It's pwetty nice seeing a paiw who awe...wike Finn and I," she mentioned.

The ex-lieutenant eased up and nodded in agreement. "Yeah... It is pretty nice." Suddenly, she seemed a lot more comfortable and relaxed. She rolled her suit's shoulders as if it would help with her remaining tension despite the fact that she could not even feel them. Perhaps after being in a suit for so long, she subconsciously started treating it like an extension of her own much smaller body.

Qwark tilted his head as if he were a little lost in this conversation. "What do you mean?"

Bubbles floated up to the top of Finn's tank when she exhaled. "Do I have to spell it out for you? You're an organic life form, and he's a robot. Duh. How many pairs do you even see here that aren't of the same species let alone made of nearly all the same material? There's always been a rift between robots and organics. Surely you haven't been spending your entire life under a rock!"

Rita frowned up at Finn. "We don't know that, Finn. It could be pawt of his species' culture to live undew wocks. How much do YOU know about non-dwophyds, hm? Don't be insensitive."

Finn rolled her bulbous eyes. "Oh not this again. Spare me the equality speech, Rita. Other species treat us like dirt. Why should we be any kinder?"

"Because how can we expect to be tweated any bettew if we don't show the kind of open-mindedness WE want to be tweated with?" Rita explained.

"You know what you sound like? You sound like my mother. You know what she did all day?" Finn began blowing a bunch of bubbles with her mouth. "That was her. Just all day. Blub blub blub. Never shut up. 'Finn, stop swimming in the dark parts of the ocean. You don't know what's down there. Finn, stop trying to eat your younger brothers.' Ooon and ooon..."

"Ladies! Ladies!" Qwark intervened, already having had enough negativity with Nefarious. "So, I'm a little confused here. What do you two mean when you say 'pair', anyway?"

The two women went dead silent and begun to stare at him even more strangely than they initially had. Qwark wasn't sure what was going on. Had he said something wrong?

"Erm... You DO realize that this is a couples only cruise, right?" Finn questioned with a puzzled expression.

Rita let go of Finn's suit's arm as she looked up at the drophyd and placed her hands on her own hips while leaning to the side to make it look like she meant business. "Finn, no one could be so stupid that they would book a twip on a couples only cwuise when they'we actually single!" When Rita turned her head to look back at Qwark, he had for some reason made a dash back to his cabin as if something was horribly wrong.

The robot and the drophyd looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders, but suspected nothing. Yeah. No one was that stupid.


	4. Chapter 4

"YOU WHAT!?" Nefarious nearly could have fainted when the hero had explained the situation to him.

"The brochure was very vague and the wording was misleading!" Qwark said in his defense.

Nefarious started hastily going through the complimentary paperwork left in one of the nightstand drawers that gave all the details on things like the events that were scheduled to happen on the ship, discount deals, and other information. He quickly came across the brochure for the cruise, read through it, then shoved it into Qwark's face. "THIS ONE!? Practically every other WORD refers to HAVING A LOVELY TIME WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!"

Captain Qwark winced out of guilt and poked his index fingers together sheepishly. "Okay I admit it-it was too long for me to read, so I just skimmed over it. I got a good deal on a three day package, so I went for it! I wouldn't have brought us here if I knew it was a couples cruise! I can barely stand you, let alone think of you...like THAT!"

"Well isn't that just great!" Nefarious exclaimed, throwing all the paperwork up into the air like confetti. "I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean for three days straight with the guy I hate more than anyone else in the entire universe, and now everyone's going to think we're an item! FAAAAANTASTIC!"

"I'm not any more happy about this than you are!" Qwark pointed out with a glare. "I was hoping to pick up some chicks, and now I'm just going to come off as some kind of swinger!"

"I should have known better than to trust you to be half-competent for a change!" He approached Qwark with a dangerous look in his optical sensors, slouched over and pointing at the bulkier male. "You've fooled me TWICE at this point, Qwark! I won't let it happen a THIRD time! This was your LAST chance!"

Both of them shifted their attention towards their cabin door when there came a gentle knock. Nefarious went to press a button on the panel near it to open the door. Needless to say, he was more than a little confused when two women were on the other side. At least, he was pretty sure they were both women. "Who are you, and what do you want?" he asked, being rather blunt and short tempered.

"Those are the two girls from earlier!" Qwark said with surprise.

Nefarious looked back at Qwark with a furrowed brow. "WHAT two girls from earlier?" he asked, wondering what kind of mess Qwark had started THIS time.

"Finn and Rita," Qwark said as if that would explain everything.

Rita waved at Nefarious with a smile, while Finn looked like she would rather be anywhere but here. "We'we youw neighbows, pwetty much," she explained briefly. "At weast fow the next thwee days."

"Why does she talk funny, and what's going on?" Nefarious demanded to know, feeling rather impatient at this point.

"First reason we're here: We couldn't help but overhear you two screaming at eachother from our cabin, which is right next door to yours. That's got to come to an end. Now. Second reason: Rita can't keep her damn nose out of everyone else's business," the drophyd replied. "Also, she's kind of programmed to speak like that. It's a bug, I guess. I don't know how you robots work. I don't pretend to, either."

"She nevew compweted the Sensitivity Twaining Seminar," Rita whispered on behalf of her rude partner.

"Rita. Don't," Finn grumbled, not in the mood to even get started on that sort of matter. "Look, we're not relationship counselors by any means, but we can try to help. If you want it. We know what it's like. It's not easy being an organic/robotic couple. Being out together in public like this is unsettling, and takes some time getting used to. People stare, make comments, and if you worry about all that stuff, it makes things miserable. You have to learn to get over it and just be yourselves. Rita and I have been together for years now, and believe us: the people around us haven't really changed. They're pretty set in their ways. It's something you've just got to learn to ignore."

Nefarious stared at the drophyd critically before responding. "We're NOT a couple."

Finn threw her robotic arms into the air. "They're hopeless," she said before turning around and going to leave. Before she could go and Nefarious could shut the door on them, Rita grabbed her by the mechanical arm and forced her to stay put, and then stopped the door from closing by sticking her free hand inside and prying it open.

"Wait wait wait," Rita begged as she let go of Finn's arm to get more leverage on the door she was trying to force open. "I'm not giving up." She slipped inside of the cabin, and Finn had little choice but to follow in after her out of protective nature.

"Rita you're so dumb. Gonna get us thrown off this ship," Finn mumbled with a sigh.

Totally missing the point, Rita reminded her, "Both of us can swim!" She approached Nefarious and grabbed him by the hands, squeezing his in her own assuringly as she put on a comforting smile. However, it only served to make Nefarious feel sick to his internal tanks with disgust. He didn't like people touching him. Ever. "I know that you guys don't know us and we don't know you, but all fouw of us awe wike kindwed spiwits!" she said excitedly.

Nefarious slipped his hands out from under hers, and slapped hers away. "No we AREN'T! We're not even FRIENDS!" he shouted. "You're seeing something that just isn't there, I assure you! Now get out of here before I call security!"

"You imply that will stop her from being annoyingly persistent. When they throw her overboard, she will just swim back here to pester you two," Finn joked, rolling her eyes. "That's just how she is. She's a fixer. Probably why she chose me as her mate. Heh."

"There's nothing to fix!" the doctor snapped.

"Now on THAT part I can agree with Rita that you're lying," the drophyd stated while pointing to Nefarious. "Clearly somethin' isn't right here. I mean, look at you two. Think about it. You come on a cruise meant for couples, you do nothing but argue when you get here, and now you're in denial that you two even LIKE eachother. Who does that other than a couple who came here solely for the purpose of mending a broken relationship?"

"In a way, she's kind of right," Captain Qwark admitted in a hushed voice, looking at the more you-can-see-it-if-you-squint perspective of things. "We DID come here to try and patch things up..."

The two ladies smiled, assuming that this little misunderstanding had been solved. Problem was, they were still convinced that the two were a couple.

"Admittance is the fiwst step to wecovewy!" said Rita, who was looking rather happy that should help. "I think you two will do just fine!"

"You know," Finn began to suggest, rubbing along the seam where her tank connected to her armored suit with a metal claw, "They serve fancy dinners down in the lower deck at around 6 o'clock. We could do a double date, I guess." She wasn't all that great at the whole 'being friendly to others' sort of deal, but from her years spent with Rita, it seemed like something Rita would have done or had wanted her to suggest.

Just as the drophyd thought, her robotic mate was pleased and touched that Finn would think to offer that. "That's a pewfect idea, Finn!" She gasped, her excitement only increasing. If Rita got any more worked up and giddy, springs and screws probably would have popped out and go flying all over the damn place.

"So are you two in, or are you out?" Finn asked sternly the two males with a wave of her claw, the other one she had resting on her suit's hip.

"Sounds like fun to me!" Qwark replied, feeling that it sounded like an interesting enough plan. He could go for some decent food, anyway.

Nefarious glared at his temporary roommate. "I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS!" he screeched at Qwark.

"Well come or don't come!" Finn said bluntly, being less patient with the duo. "It doesn't matter to us!"

"It mattews to me," Rita corrected, but Finn just gave her a frown.

"No it doesn't," the drophyd insisted. She then mashed down on the button that opened the door, and left with Rita to go about their business.

Nefarious narrowed his eyes at Qwark. "I'm so blogging about how stupid you are right now." He crawled back onto the bed and put his headphones back on, then started typing away while occasionally flashing a harsh glance at Qwark while he entered his feelings into the computer to broadcast it to all of the three, maybe five people total who actually cared in the slightest.

Qwark merely sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his large chin in his palm, practically waiting for 6 o'clock at this point. Fixing things was going to be a lot harder than he had thought.


End file.
